Soon to be Auntie

MY BEST FRIEND/BRIDESMAID IS PREGNANT!!!

CONGRATS TO THE LOVELY ERIN SMITH POOLE!!! I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU AND SCOTT!! You're going to be the best parents ever!!

I love you dearly

Coveted Memories

As you all know, I'm getting married in 8 months. I am so excited and can hardly wait. It's going to be the adventure of a lifetime with all kinds of crazy turns.

The issue with being as excited as I am at times, is that I'm at risk for missing out on little things of my current life that will soon be the comfort of my future life.

A wise friend of mine once told me to focus on living the life I have now, rather than wishing for the life I am soon to have. Because once it's over, it's over. You can't move back everytime you start to miss home.

I have found myself recently wishing away my last two semesters of college, more than ever. Longing to be married, to learn the ropes of a new city, a new state, to feel the crisp wind of another winters breath. And even, at times, to learn the deep secrets of a new friend's soul.

Today, I went to Barnes and Noble with a dear friend of mine. A friend who has been by my side since freshman year. She was the first person I met at UA and my first college neighbor. It was so refreshing to be with a familiar face, sitting in the big chairs and reading without any obligation to entertain one another.

It reminded me that I need to take these precious occasions one by one with an open heart and a mental camera because it won't be long until all these little moments will become coveted memories.

Romania Run Down

It's been quite awhile since I last posted about Romania and I never did give you guys a sum up of my experience there. So here it is. It's pretty impossible to use less words or space or whatever to explain everything so this is going to be a very long post.

We arrived in Romania on the 17th of June. For the first two or three days we did a ton of manual labor. From shoveling graveling to spreading it to putting up tents and cots. I've never seen or washed so many dishes in my life than I saw and washed when we first got in RO.

After those first two or three days we started camp. Our first week were the kids that Livada has taken into their own care. Their ages range from 8-17. There are about 30-40 Livada kids living in Casa Ana-Nadia and Casa Rebecca.

Side Note: Mondays are day camp days. Then from Tuesday-Friday we are at Camp Vetca with the kids.

This week was a very interesting week. These kids are very accustomed to Americans so we were nothing terribly special to them. On the easier side of things, because Americans are nothing unusual to them, the majority of the kids spoke great english. When we first met with the kids and had camp with them, the girls, specifically, did not act as though they wanted us around. Until Thursday nigh when we get in our Achipas (teams) and each leader prays over each child. We cried like little babies.

Of the kids there are three that I became super close with over the month that I was in Romania: Bella (a 14-year-old boy), Ana (14-year-old girl), and Kati (16-year-old girl).

The next three weeks were state care kids. The first week of kids in state care had a lot of special needs kids. This week was a totally different ball game than the first. Their English skills were much less that the Livada kids so our Translators were seriously our mouth pieces. It was a great week though.

The next week was my absolute favorite week. These kids were from ages 18-24 (crazy, I know). We were told during orientation that this would be the hardest but most rewarding week of the summer; and other than getting blatantly pushed down by a random kid for no reason, it wasn't that terribly hard. And don't worry one of the guys on my team Luci (18) went after him and probably cussed him out in Romanian, he then protected me the rest of the night haha!!

I got and have remained close to one of my guys Liviu (20). He is pretty fluent in English and we have gotten many opportunities to chat on facebook. He became a believer just a few weeks after we left RO and has told me all about his feelings about Jesus and what he knows to be true of Salvation. It has been incredible to have so many chances to talk to him even after being back in the States.

We had a wonderful time in RO and the Word of God was preached to every ear that would hear. And of course, whenever the Word of the Lord is preached Satan has to get in there and try to ruin everything. We had so many battles and continue to battle with Child Protective Services in RO. After week 2 we were no longer aloud to take pictures of or with any of the kids. After week 3 we signed a waiver saying we would not post anything about the kids and after week 5 camp was shut down.

Continue to be in prayer for these kids that we met this summer and for Livada to be able to continue to preach of God's Grace. Pray for Sarah Meszaros and Rebecca Rasmussen who are still in Romania. Sarah is there until next September and Rebecca has been there for the past 3 years. They are two wonderful ladies that I had the opportunity to get really close to this summer and I admire their hard work and love for every kid. Pray for Kelly she has been in Romania for the past 5 years and is coming back this year to work for Livada in the States.

While there were plenty of times that I really didn't know what the heck I was doing in Romania, there were plenty other times that I knew exactly what I was there for. And now, more than ever, I know that the Lord has called me to do His work. To Love the Unlovable and to Remember the Forgotten.

Livada is continuing the Intern program next summer, so please let me know if you are even slightly interested and I would love to meet with you and tell you more about it.

Thanks again guys. Also I applaud you for making it to the end. It's hard for me to sum up my experience so easily.

Wedding Info Update

So many new things have happened in the Wedding Planning area since the engagement. For starters, I found the dress of my dreams. I got it from David's Bridal, which was the first store I went into on the first day of wedding dress shopping. It was the first dress I tried on and I love it! We got to David's Bridal at 11:30 am and left at 1:15 pm. Pretty impressive if I do say so myself.

The second/third update is that we have found a place (and put down the deposit) which also means that we have a solid date. The wedding will be at 4 pm and help in the garden at the Cates House is Alabaster, AL.

I am in the process of getting a band nailed down, but I have a photographer (my step mom's sister, Colleen).

Next thing on the list is asking my wedding party and singers/musicians if they can be in the wedding.

Planning is coming right along. We are 302 days away; or 10 months from Wednesday. So weird how quickly time seems to be flying. But I am beyond ecstatic to be the future Mrs. Caitlin Wiggins. It has a nice ring to it doesn't it; kind of like my left hand.

ENGAGED!!!

I never thought this day would come, but as of today at around 6:30 or 6:45 (wasn't terribly concerned with the time at the moment), I AM ENGAGED!!!!!! 

I am engaged to marry the greatest man in the world, Robert Paul Wiggins. We don't have a date and I'm really not too worried about it. I just want to soak up every moment as his Fiancee before planning becomes hectic.  

How he did it:

My birthday was about a month ago, but I was not here, as you all know. To celebrate "my belated birthday", Rob sent me on a scavenger hunt. The first surprise of the night was my best friend, Aliciana, who came along on the ride to take pictures. 

At every station two of our friends, Nick and Wesley, waited with a new gift and a new clue. The first clue took me to Summer Snow to receive two scarves. The next clue took me to the Riverwalk to receive a Michael Buble CD. The next took me to Rodger's Library for a book of our life together. The next to Denny Chimes for a wine glass set. The next to the stadium for Swarvoski crystal earrings. Then the last, clue #6, was to Capitol Park where I received a picture frame. I must say I was a little disappointed in the frame because I was told that the gifts got better as we went along. 

As I continued looking at the frame (including a picture we had taken together last fall), I noticed that he had "Engaged" printed on it, as well as "July 23, 2009". The same moment I realized that the printed date was the current date, I saw Rob upon one knee staring up at me. In my unbelief, I shouted, "SHUT UP!!" Through my interruptions, Rob told me all the reasons he wanted to marry me along with other things I can't quite remember, popped the magic question and I said, "YES, OF COURSE!" 

To my surprise, our friend David had recorded the entire proposal. There with us, to share in the incredible moment, was Aliciana, David, Nick, and Wesley. After that we went to Lici's house, to my knowledge, only with the one's already at the park. When we walked into her apartment, I was surprised again by about 15 of our friends. 

None of the attendees. except for the one's at the park and two others, actually knew what had just happened. The rest were just as surprised as I was to find that we had just gotten engaged. Rob didn't want to take all my fun away so I got to announce to all my friends that we were engaged to be married. 

I never thought this moment would happen and still can't believe it's real. But, believe it or not, it is, in fact, real. I could not have asked for a better proposal or a better man to marry. He is absolutely incredible and will be an amazing husband. I can only pray to be half the wife to him that he deserves. 

Feels like Home to Me

Before my arrival to Romania, I decided to only come for a month long stint, thinking "What if I sign up for the whole summer and end up hating it". Now, after being here for 3 and half weeks, seeing three different groups of kids come in and out of my life, my heart sinks at the thought of going home.

I have been very blessed to have a family that loves and supports me even when they can't see the reason behind my wacky decisions (i.e. traveling half way around the world to work with an organization that I found on Google, with people i've never met, except for one whom I met two months previous). I know that they miss me from the emails I receive each week rushing me home.

However, as blessed as I know I am, I can't ignore the fact that I could easily leave all that behind to stay here with these kids forever.

I know that, where my life stands as of right now, God's current plan for me here in Romania is not for permanent residence. I know that the Lord has called me to Family and Marriage counseling, for which I need my masters. I know that I need to stay in the States for my time in Seminary. I also know that I have a lot of growing and strengthening I need to experience before I move away for good.

When I picture my life after this summer, I know that I cannot leave here and never return. Whether or not Jesus calls me to move here permanently, I'm not sure. What I am sure of is that my work here is not complete, yet. My time here does not end after next Friday; my time here this summer will be over then, but not forever.

I wish that I had enough time, energy, and words to express to you what I have experienced in my time in Romania, but even if I tried, I could not succeed.

Thanks to all of you who have been praying for the kids, the team, and me while we've been together. Just one more week left. Pray that I give it my all. Pray that the Lord would continue revealing his will for my life. Pray that on Friday HE would comfort my heart, because I know that this "goodbye" is going to be the hardest "goodbye" I have ever given.

I love you guys and hope to see you all so soon; of course after I wake up from my 6 day "catch-up" slumber.

Be Careful What You Pray For...

I really hate when people say to be careful what you pray for. If youre not willing to accept the challenge to become a better follower of Christ, then you need to take a long hard look into your heart, because something is not right.

People normally say that when talking about Patience, ”Because” they say, ”God will find a way to give you patience.” Heaven forbid we ever learn patience, then we might have to actually be like Jesus called us to be.

Anyway, on to the point.

I find it funny and see Gods humor when I pray for more ”selfish” things and get either a ”Nope” or silence. But the second I pray for something completely not fun, and not the slightest bit selfish, He answers it within hours of the prayer being spoken.

Yesterday morning, I woke up from a deep slumber on an dipped in cot and sleeping bag. As I do every morning before camp begins, I read a passage in my Bible and began to journal my prayers, thoughts, and hopes for the day. When I was coming to close (as in running out of time), I wrote ”Lord, break my heart today. Give me a divine moment when I remember why Im here.”

He did.

The day continued as normal. We had our Super Hero warm up, then breakfast. We had club, morning activity rotations, lunch, free time, dinner, etc. On Thursday night we have a big prayer time where we, the leaders, pray over our team and sometimes other children we connected with throughout the week.

Being the good follower of directions that I am, I prayed over each of my kids. Praying that God would raise up a family for them to love them unconditionally and lead them to Gods throne. Praying that they themselves would feel Gods love and mercy, etc.

I began to walk back to the tent where the rest of camp had already begun to congregate, but was stopped by a 16-year-old girl, Claudia. Hours earlier, during our scavenger hunt in which we sprint up a straight incline Mountain of a hill, this girl was driving me absolutely crazy. My only interactions with her was of her acting like she was tearing out my heart, which is part of a skit Im in that happens every Wed. night.

Claudia was not on my team and we hadnt really had any previous conversations, but for some reason she wanted me to pray over her. So I did.

When I prayed over my group, I didnt use a translator. But Claudia wanted to know what I was praying over her, so we brought along my wonderful translator from the week, Oana. I prayed all the same things over her that I had prayed over the other children, not that it was any less sincere, but my prayer is for all of the children to find families to love them and for them to grow up to be Godly parents who love and care for their children.

When I finished my prayer, Claudia told me that she loves to answer questions and that she wanted me to ask her anything at all. So I did.

I asked her how long she had been in the orphanage. She said her mother dropped her off at Luduce when she and her twin sister were 3-years-old and her younger brother, who she is currently separated from, was 2. When her father died, she was not allowed to go to his funeral. Their birthdays were never celebrated and they never had enough food. She explained to me that she was only allowed to shower on certain days of the week and from 12-4 pm the children were to be in their beds at all times. They werent even allowed to use the bathroom.

Her mom dropped her off at Luduce 13 years ago, and as Claudia said, she has never even checked to see if her children are still alive. She explained to me that she does see her moms side of the family. And when she sees them all she sees is a family of strangers who are all happy with their lives and couldnt care less about hers. ”Candy can only love you so much,” she said.

She stayed in Luduce for 10 years and has now been in a new home with a different mother for 3 years. She and her sister moved into this new home once Luduce was shut down for the maltreatment of children.

I asked her about how her life is now that she is in the different home compared to what is was then. She said that it is much better now. That her house mother actually tries to act like a mother to them. When it is there birthday or any other celebration time, they receive presents. She continued to share with me how much better her life is in the new home, which makes my heart happy. But when the list was finished, she added, ”Although all these things are good, they dont take place of your own mom, your own dad, your own brothers, and your own sisters.”

During orientation, we were told that if we werent prepared to hear about the suffering that these children face, then we didnt need to ask. Because once you ask, they will tell you, and youve got to be able to handle it.

I held in my tears for as long as Claudia spoke. However, the second she walked out of that tent and went to bed, the flood gates opened wide. I could hardly breathe through all the pain I felt in my heart. How could someone feel so little compassion and love for such a beautiful and precious gift? This thought process was far beyond me. I cant come to grips with it. I cant make sense of it, no matter how hard I try.

My prayer is that we stop asking the easy questions and start asking the questions that make us cringe. The questions that make our hearts roll into knots. Ask for a broken heart and the Lord will provide.

Never be careful about what you pray for.